she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
