she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Randomize
