some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
