Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
