I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
