Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
