How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
