OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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