Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
