Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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