Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
