Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
