Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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