even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
