Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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