U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
