You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
