if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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