3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
