I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize