well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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