So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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