I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
smell my finger.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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