Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
