tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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