girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
