This is not my ceiling
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
