Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
