this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
