I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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