i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
