dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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