I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
