So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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