I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
