she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
