I wannas sexs uuuuu
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
