the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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