He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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