The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Can you bring me the toilet please
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
