We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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