Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
