you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
