She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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