Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
