peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
