I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
