Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
