Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
