Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
