babies were throwing up all over the place
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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