What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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