as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
