the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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