dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
