those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
