hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
